How to Deal With Your Enemies According to the Bible

Understanding “An Eye for an Eye”

One common misunderstanding begins with Jesus' words in Matthew 5:38:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’”

Some interpret this as though the Old Testament taught personal revenge while Jesus introduced an entirely different standard.

However, an important distinction must be made: civil laws governing a nation are not necessarily instructions for personal retaliation.

After Israel came out of Egypt, it became a nation and required laws governing society. The Law contained provisions addressing commerce, public health, treatment of foreigners, personal injury, and property rights.

• Commerce: Leviticus 19:35–36
• Public health: Leviticus 13:1–6
• Immigration and treatment of foreigners: Leviticus 19:33–34
• Personal injury: Exodus 21:18–19
• Property ownership: Deuteronomy 19:14

This distinction becomes especially important when considering the expression “eye for eye, tooth for tooth.”

Exodus 21 places this principle within laws dealing with injuries and judicial consequences. It was not intended to become a license for personal revenge.

Romans 13 recognizes a legitimate role for governing authorities. Likewise, when someone asked Jesus to settle an inheritance dispute, He responded:

“Man, who made Me a judge or an arbitrator over you?” — Luke 12:14

There is a difference between the responsibilities of government and how I personally respond to someone who has wronged me.

Love Your Enemies

Jesus said:

“Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

Luke 6:35 similarly teaches:

“Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.”

This teaching does not abolish the command to love our neighbor. Leviticus 19:18 had already commanded God's people to “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus shows us how far that love must reach.

Our love cannot be limited to people who love us.

Kingdom love becomes visible when we show goodness toward someone who has given us a reason to hate them.

The Samaritan Shows Us What Love Does

Jesus' account of the Samaritan provides a powerful picture of active love.

A man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho was attacked, robbed, beaten, and abandoned. A priest saw him and passed by. A Levite also saw him and passed by.

But a Samaritan stopped.

He treated the man's wounds, placed him on his animal, brought him to an inn, cared for him, paid for his accommodations, and promised to cover additional expenses.

The lesson is clear:

Biblical love acts.

That becomes especially important when dealing with enemies.

Pursue Peace When You Don't Feel Peaceful

Hebrews 12:14 teaches believers to:

“Continually pursue peace with everyone...”

The word pursue is important because peace does not always happen naturally.

Pursue peace when you feel like fighting. Pursue peace when you're angry. Pursue peace when you're offended. Pursue peace when you want to retaliate. Pursue peace when you feel like giving up.

Seeking peace does not mean approving of another person's wrongdoing. Neither does it mean refusing to establish appropriate boundaries.

It means we refuse to allow anger, revenge, retaliation, and bitterness to rule our hearts.

Your Reaction to Your Enemy Reveals Your Heart

David's encounter with Shimei in 2 Samuel 16:5–13 gives us a remarkable example.

David was already experiencing enormous personal turmoil. His own son Absalom had rebelled against him, and David was fleeing Jerusalem.

Then Shimei appeared.

He cursed David continually. He threw stones at him. He accused him. He publicly humiliated him.

David's warrior Abishai had heard enough and wanted to kill him.

David refused.

Instead, David considered the possibility that God had permitted the situation and that God might ultimately repay him with good for the affliction he was enduring.

There is a profound lesson here:

You are judged by your reaction to your enemy.

Opposition reveals things about us that friendship may never expose.

Your enemy may reveal whether you have truly learned forgiveness. Your enemy may expose hidden pride. Your enemy may expose anger. Your enemy may reveal your desire for revenge. Your enemy may expose whether you actually trust God to defend you.

Instead of immediately asking:

“God, how do I get rid of this person?”

perhaps sometimes we should ask:

“Lord, what are You teaching me through this situation?”

That does not mean God approves of another person's sinful behavior. It means God can use even opposition as an opportunity to shape our character.

Vengeance Belongs to God

David did something extremely difficult: he resisted the immediate opportunity to retaliate.

Romans 12:19 gives us the principle:

“Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Turning vengeance over to God does not mean pretending that injustice never happened.

God saw it. God heard what was said. God knows the truth. God knows the motives involved. God knows what happened publicly and privately.

The Christian's responsibility is not to become consumed with personally making another person suffer.

We can release judgment to God.

Having Enemies Can Become Part of Our Spiritual Development

David's life also demonstrates something uncomfortable: significant callings often attract significant opposition.

David experienced betrayal, family conflict, public humiliation, accusations, warfare, and enemies.

You cannot have David's story without also having David's enemies and public ridicule.

Opposition therefore does not automatically mean you are outside God's will.

Sometimes obedience itself creates opposition.

The important question is not merely:

“Do I have enemies?”

The better question is:

“Who am I becoming because of how I respond to them?”

Loving Your Enemy Is More Than a Feeling

We sometimes misunderstand Jesus' command because we define love primarily as an emotion.

But loving your enemy does not require pretending that betrayal feels good.

You may not feel affection toward someone who abused your trust. You may not feel emotionally close to someone who deliberately harmed you.

Biblical enemy-love is demonstrated by doing good regardless of how we presently feel.

When Jesus says:

Love your enemies — seek their good.
Bless those who curse you — refuse to answer curses with curses.
Do good to those who hate you — allow your actions to demonstrate God's character.
Pray for those who persecute you — take the person before God rather than becoming consumed with revenge.

This is supernatural Christianity.

Don't Send Evil “Back to Sender”

Christians should be careful about adopting a “back-to-sender” mentality toward enemies.

If someone speaks evil against us, our response should not be:

“May that same evil happen to you.”

Jesus gives us the opposite response:

Bless them.
Do good to them.
Pray for them.

Romans 12:21 says:

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

You cannot overcome evil by becoming evil.

Returning hatred for hatred simply produces more hatred. Returning curses for curses produces more curses. Returning revenge for revenge continues the cycle.

Evil cannot be overcome with more evil. Evil must be overcome with good.

Feed Your Enemy

Proverbs 25:21–22 teaches:

“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat. And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.”

Think about that command.

Your enemy is hungry. Feed him.

Your enemy is thirsty. Give him water.

That is not passive Christianity.

That is active goodness.

God does not merely command us to refrain from attacking our enemies. He calls us to become instruments through which they can encounter goodness.

Don't Celebrate When Your Enemy Falls

There is another test of the heart.

What happens when the person who hurt you finally experiences trouble?

Do you celebrate? Do you say, “Good. They finally got what they deserved.”

Proverbs 24:17 warns:

“Do not rejoice and gloat when your enemy falls...”

Job 31:29–30 expresses a similar principle:

“If I have rejoiced at my enemy's misfortune or gloated over the trouble that came to him—I have not allowed my mouth to sin by invoking a curse against their life.”

It is possible not to physically attack our enemy while still carrying hatred toward them internally.

God is concerned about both.

When Your Ways Please the Lord

Proverbs 16:7 gives us a beautiful promise:

“When a man's ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

Our primary responsibility, therefore, is not controlling our enemies.

It is pleasing God.

We cannot control whether another person likes us. We cannot control what someone says about us. We cannot control another person's heart.

But we can control our response.

We can forgive. We can refuse revenge. We can pursue peace. We can bless. We can pray. We can do good.

And we can trust God with everything else.

A Prayer for Your Enemies

Perhaps there is someone in your life right now who has hurt you deeply. Instead of praying for their destruction, consider praying:

Father, in the name of Jesus, I bring before You those who have hurt, opposed, betrayed, rejected, cursed, or mistreated me. I choose to obey the words of Jesus and forgive them.

I renounce bitterness, hatred, retaliation, revenge, and every desire to see evil come upon them. I release them into Your hands and acknowledge that vengeance belongs to You.

Lord, bless them. Draw them to You. Bring them to repentance where repentance is needed. Heal what is broken in their lives. Give them wisdom and reveal Jesus Christ to them.

Help me to pursue peace. Teach me what You want me to learn through the opposition I have experienced. Guard my heart from bitterness and help me overcome evil with good.

Fill me with Your love so that my response reflects Jesus rather than my pain.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Final Test

Loving people who love us is easy.

The deeper test of Christian character comes when we encounter someone who gives us every natural reason not to love them.

Jesus calls us higher.

Love your enemies.
Bless those who curse you.
Do good to those who hate you.
Pray for those who persecute you.
Feed your enemy when he is hungry.
Give him something to drink when he is thirsty.
Don't rejoice when he falls.
Don't repay evil with evil.

Instead:

Overcome Evil With Good

That is not weakness.

It is obedience to Jesus Christ, and it is one of the clearest demonstrations that the Kingdom of God is operating within us.